Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
