moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
