I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
