please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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