I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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