Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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