I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
