Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
