i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
