Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
