the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize