I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
