Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
