Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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