Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
