well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
