how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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