I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
