i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
