When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I want a musical about memes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
