Only a mothe r could love this liver
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
