He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
