They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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