the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
