How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
