Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
