I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
