I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize