I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
