absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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