Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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