I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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