Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
