He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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