I want to walk on stilts...naked
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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