Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
