they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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