i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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