arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
