I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's always time for handjobs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
