there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
