I am puke
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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