Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
