New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
