I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize