you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
