I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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