Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
