in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I look better un-naked...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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