your parents love me but you hate me
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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