is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
