I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
