one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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