I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
