I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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