trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
