Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
