Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
