It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
