i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
