woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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