my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
