the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
