We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
