i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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