ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
