i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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