"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
are you so shy because you have an std?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
