he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize